make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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