her vagina looked like bernie madoff
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
