You're my little dorito
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
