I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
