I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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