Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
