Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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