guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
