just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
