yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
zippers are such a cool invention
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
