it hurts more in the daytime
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
