remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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