i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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