i was born a porn star she said
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i believe in u and ur pee
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
