According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
