We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
