kristin has been a bad kristin
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
