help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
