Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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