Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
