i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
