Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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