It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
