i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
