She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
