How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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