i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
