Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
