I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i drank out of a bidet.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
