I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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