Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
