he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
