i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
