hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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