Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
