Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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