best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
