He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
