PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
