hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
