you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
