found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
