The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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