Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
