nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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