i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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