Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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