so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I am available for nakedness
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
