Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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