yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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