Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Say something about gay babies.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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