I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
